Sunday, November 18, 2012

Delicious, delicious stew.


This is an expansion off of an email conversation I had with a friend of mine. The issue in question was my opinion on video review for athletes (comp or rec), general population, etc. He  followed up the question with a challenge to not be a pussy and just give a canned response. So I went ahead and gave one anyway. Come at me, bro.

(You'll have to forgive the prodigious use of Bro in this one. It was that kind of day.)

Bro, do I even lift? Nah, not really. I mean I get under some weight once in a while, sit down and stand up a bit. But it's more like, thinking. Meditation if you will. Only with a barbell, and I guess there's some plates involved there too. So, barbe-plati-tation. Trust me bro, shit's going to take off in the next year. It's going to be the new Yoga, only instead of Namaste it'll be "Dat Ass." 

And really now, why all the hate on preservation? Harvest is long done bro, this time of year it's the only way to get the good stuff. Why try and pick it before it's ready and hope it'll be ripe and taste good by the time it hits market? Nah bro, leave that shit on the vine as long as you can. Get it good and ripe and full of all those little bits of goodness that the smart people in white coats tell us we need. Leave it till the last moment, then eat what you can and tuck the rest away for when you need it. Gotta be the freezer though, too much sodium in them cans. 

Then you wait till wintertime, when it's cold and dark and everybody is getting good and hungry for something tasty, and then you bust it out. Maybe it got a bit soggy in the freezer, but that's ok. You get yourself a big ol' pot, grab some roots from the pantry, your meats from the freezer. Season that shit up and get your herbs in, and now you've got yourself a hearty ass stew. And stew ain't fancy but it sure is tasty and it sure puts a good heavy brick into your belly after a long day in the cold. 

Anyway, if you've got a pretty girl in the kitchen cooking you up a stew don't go complaining about that shit. Sit down, grab your spoon and don't bitch about how she puts the dishes away. Maybe it's your stew and she just brought over some of the little things, the bay leaves, basil, maybe a tasty beer to make up the gravy. That's cool to, no complaints there. If all goes well, she's as easy on the eyes as her stew is on the belly. Nothing quite like a pretty girl cooking up a big pot of tasty. If not though, maybe her stew is a thing of beauty but she's not so much? Or maybe she's easy on the eyes but hopeless in the kitchen. Well then it's all up to how much you need that big hearty bowl of delicious. Big appetites will deal with a little less scenery to get the meal, small ones might choke down a sub par stew in favour of the view. But sometimes all you need is a pretty girl in the room to get you in there too figuring out how to cook all on your own, and then you get the best of both. 

Heck if she's pretty enough she might draw a crowd- might as well teach em how while they're in there gawking anyway. And if they're just sitting there masturbating well, whatever keeps em coming back to the kitchen. They'll get hungry sooner or later. 

One way or the other though, the stew's gotta happen. If she keeps spending all your money on groceries and despite the rumbles in your belly there's still no stew in that pot well then, I think it's time you found yourself a new pretty lady to hold hands with and take home to the folks. But you gotta work the hunger up first. Come to the kitchen just looking for a little salad, and a pretty girl cooking up a big pot of stew won't be so appealing, but then there's that hole in your middle that needs filling you do what you gotta do. But heck, maybe once you have all that salad and you decide you want yourself a little more to eat. Try a couple bites and see where it takes you. A man can hope, try as I might I won't be able to eat it all right now, and a good stew reheats just fine. 

Maybe she comes in and tells you that's all well and good, but she's got a different way to put the stew together. That's alright, just try it out and see how it tastes. The store was out of stew meat? Good, it's time to get further up the chain. You can't use a big stew roast right out of the package, everybody knows that. Get out your trusty knife and cutting board and break that puppy down until you've got it into a size you can handle. Don't toss out the bones and the fat though, there's goodness in there. Just toss it in your stock pot and it'll find it's way into your stew once it's ready. 




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