The Lance Armstrong Rant

Sigh, so here goes. The requisite Lance Armstrong Rant.


I'm going to preface this by stating that the debate about whether drug legislation is ethical or not is well outside the scope of this blog post. So I'm just using the traditional definition of  "You did something that was against the rules" cheating. 
You should not be surprised by the revelation of evidence that Lance Armstrong cheated/used WADA banned substances. No, really you shouldn't. For the uninitiated, we have things called PEDs, Performance Enhancing Drugs. They work well. Really damn well. In fact, they're so good that we went ahead and banned them from use in competitive sport to keep it "fair". Many elite athletes go ahead and use them anyway, because (like I mentioned) they work really damn well. 
Lance Armstrong competed in Cycling- a sport notorious for drug use as it is, and he dominated for 7 goddamn years. Quite frankly, I'd be more surprised if he was clean. Once again, HE WON THE TOUR DE FRANCE 7 GODDAMN TIMES. I don't care what chemical regimen you're under, that is fucking impressive. 



Done. 
Fin. 
End of story. All the dumbasses going on about "oh, we now know it was the drugs that won the tours! Woe is me!" can kindly sit down, shut up and pay attention. 
No, Lance Armstrong won the tours. The drugs enabled him to train at a level necessary to do so, just as they probably enabled the rest of the top 10 to train at that level as well. This does not diminish their accomplishments, but simply means we need to keep them in context. You, the critic could shoot as much testosterone and EPO into your system as your little body could handle, and you would still not even approach that level of performance. Not without all of the other dozens of factors that go into the making of an elite athlete- not least of which is the testicular fortitude (LAWL!) and dedication necessary. 

                                                    Pictured: Something you can't do.


So it should go without saying at this point that I'm opposed to the way this has been handled in the media. However, I also don't think we should totally ignore this either, or maybe I am? But actions have consequences, and this is the risk you take when you decide to dope. But the sensationalism surrounding this whole thing irks me. Black and white issues make for great sound bites. After all, people are either perfect, incorruptible heroes or dirty, dirty cheaters (don'tcha know?)  but human people making complicated decisions for complicated reasons gets closer to the actual truth of things. 
Now, what really appalls me about the whole affair is not the drug use in cycling. That was pretty much a given. Rather, it's the USADA. Or more specifically, the self righteous "WE GOT HIM!" attitude that I'm getting from the whole affair. Good job USADA, you... torpedoed endurance sport in the USA. You tore down a role model that inspired countless people to start exercising. Good work. 

                                                 Solid effort, now what about this? 


I'm alarmed at the sheer volume of resources that went into this single case. How many millions did they spend putting together their "overwhelming evidence"? How many other things had to get the shaft so that this one case could make the front page? I know you've had a chub on to bust Lance for years but did this really strike you as the best use of your (all too limited) budget? In a country where the number one health problem can be cured with a little thing we call "Exercise", was it really the best idea to take the man who totally re popularized one of the easiest and lowest impact forms of exercise we know of and smear his name through the mud? The guy who raised countless millions for cancer research and provided a much needed face for male cancer survivors, was that really the place to go balls deep and destroy his reputation? Would it not perhaps have been a better idea to take some of that money and put it towards youth sport? Maybe some drug education for young athletes? As someone who was a youth athlete not very long ago I'll be honest and let you know that the compulsory 10 minute "DON'T DO THEM, YOU'LL DIE!" speech we get from the coach after practice does a nice little combination of "shit" and "all" towards preventing drug use. 
People need heroes, and when all you're known for is knocking them down then it's only a matter of time before people either block you out, or mail it in and go home altogether. While it may appeal to the hard line "100% perfect clean sport OR NO SPORT AT ALL!!!", the world is never going to work that way. People lie, they cheat, they do all kinds of shit. It's part of being human. And if you actually do want to see a country of clean athletes, both competitive and recreational you need to learn how to play the game. Sometimes it's better to let the lesser evil ride off into the sunset in order to get the next generation off on the right foot. 
(This began life as a Facebook post of mine, revised and expanded a bit before going up here.)